Why Sleep Feels Impossible In Menopause (and what you can do about it)
Has it been about 3 years since you last had a restful night’s sleep? Is it 3AM and you are wide awake….again? Does sleep feel impossible in menopause for you too? You aren’t crazy. Let’s dive into how hormonal changes affect your sleep patterns.
Hormonal Chaos
Estrogen was like the sleep fairy sprinkling her dust; now she’s on vacation without giving notice.
Estrogen plays a role in regulating melatonin and serotonin. Melatonin is the hormone that tells your brain it’s time to sleep. With less estrogen on board, melatonin production dips, leaving you wide awake when you should be dreaming about your next beach vacation (or even just a clean kitchen). Serotonin is our feel good/happy hormone. When those levels drop, you find yourself feeling more anxious or irritable, making it even harder to wind down at night. It’s like your brain is stuck in overdrive, replaying every awkward conversation you’ve ever had.
Also (oh yes, there is more!) as estrogen declines, your body becomes more sensitive to stress, causing cortisol—the “fight-or-flight” hormone—to spike. Imagine your brain yelling, “We’re under attack!” at 3 AM, when all you’re under is a pile of blankets.
Your body is not betraying you; it’s just confused and needs some love.
Lower estrogen levels mess with your body’s ability to regulate temperature. Cue hot flashes and night sweats, which often wake you up after you’ve just drifted off to sleep.
What You Can Do to Sleep Better (and Feel Human Again)
A. Consider Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT):
I explained why I chose to take HRT here. HRT is not for everyone, and it’s not the only option, but it’s one worth discussing with your doctor. I think of HRT as the friend who brings snacks and blankets to the sleepover you didn’t ask for… It’s not the only way to have fun, but it sure does help!
B. Build a Sleep Sanctuary:
Your bedroom should feel like a spa, not a sauna or a crime scene from a true-crime podcast marathon. Think low lights, cozy blankets, maybe a diffuser.
C. Practice Kindness, Not Perfection:
It’s okay if you’re not sleeping perfectly. Let go of the guilt—instead give yourself some grace.
D. Be Firm About Lifestyle Adjustments:
Here are my non-negotiable when it comes to getting a good night’s rest:
I try very hard not to eat after 7pm. This allows my digestive system to be at rest when my head finally hits the pillow.
I take a walk after dinner. This also helps with digestion and lowers blood sugar spikes. (thank goodness for my dog, Lady!)
1 tsp Magnesium Carbonate in 1/2 cup of water. I use this one. Take this at least 1 hour before bed. Magnesium is a natural muscle relaxer.
Turn down the overhead lights so that lighting is very low. This sends a message to your brain that it’s time to start to make melatonin.
Minimize screen time (I am not perfect at this, but am working on it)
Read a book or e-reader with low light.
Keep the room cool but the bed cozy. This helps if I get hot in the night.
Keep AirPods or headphones bedside to play Yoga Nidra in the night when I wake (usually between 3-4am).
What is your routine for bed? Would you add any of these to your nighttime routine?
Finding the Silver Lining in Sleepless Nights
I am a big believer that we go through menopause for a reason. As a lobster grows its shell, its shell becomes too small and confining, causing it to feel uncomfortable and under pressure. To grow, the lobster must shed its old shell and grow a new one, which makes it vulnerable. This time feels uncomfortable but through this discomfort, you are developing new skills, creating new capacity for comfort and patience and growing into a new, more powerful version of yourself.
This season is an invitation to get back to yourself—stronger, wiser, and yes, maybe a little tired.
A Pep Talk for Your Sleep Journey
When it feels like you haven’t had a good night’s rest in 3 years, you simply cannot feel like yourself. Prioritizing self-care and structure to get your rest is essential. This will take trial and error. Be compassionate with yourself.
Knowing that hormonal shifts are behind your sleep struggles can be oddly comforting. It’s not a failure on your part—it’s biology doing its thing. But here’s the good news: while you can’t stop menopause, you can take steps to support your body and improve your sleep.
You’ve got this—and if sleep still won’t cooperate, know that you’re not alone. Let’s navigate this wild ride together.
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